Latest comments

• 
  :ifyouknow:

  Level 11 vegan: I don't eat anything that won't fuck me.

  2017-12-05 21:15

  +3
• 
  hol up

  That's not how it works though

  2017-12-05 21:14

  +1
• 
  Thanks satan

  Ummm, yeah. Doesn't everybody?

  2017-12-05 21:07

  +13
• 
  Snapchat?

  Doing a rain dance so you can boil the noodles

  2017-12-05 21:06

  +1
• 
  Ridiculously cute

  She's the prettiest baby

  2017-12-05 21:05

  +5
• 
  SCRREAAAAMMMM

  Clarinet noise rock/freak beat hybrid

  2017-12-05 21:05

  +1
• 
  Now he attac

  *bird looks at butthole* *looks at prank egg* *looks back at butthole* Bird: "....nope."

  2017-12-05 21:02

  -1
• 
  I Assume This Is What Lesbians Experience

  Such a pretty baby

  2017-12-05 20:58

  +4
• 
  Boy ≠ Girl

  Trans people are not always gay though.

  2017-11-26 20:52

  -6
• 
  Just got the game on the ps store black friday sale

  This is what it's like to be a drug addict.

  2017-11-26 20:47

  +7
• 
  Meanwhile in India

  Everything causes cancer. Humans are mortal. I'm not fussed with living forever.

  2017-11-24 03:19

  0
• 
  New record

  Instant lobotomy.

  2017-11-24 03:18

  +7
• 
  Yum

  I'm veg and I've also been living with celiac for 13 years of my life and I never once had a problem finding some bomb ass food during the 4 years I spent as an alcoholic.

  2017-11-21 23:05

  +9
• 
  Hoot

  Owl sex. *cue Bird Squeezer*

  2017-11-21 23:03

  +16
• 
  Too early? (Rip)

  I got you bro

  2017-11-21 12:21

  +1
• 
  Too early? (Rip)

  After my insurance got cut, my wife introduced me to heroin. I love the way it takes away my pain, the way it smells, the way it tastes.... $10 can keep me well for a whole day if I use sparingly.

  2017-11-21 12:21

  +1
• 
  Too early? (Rip)

  My body doesn't know how to function without it.

  2017-11-20 03:53

  +4
• 
  Gaaa! WHAT THE FUCK!

  She's so tiny

  2017-11-20 03:04

  +4
• 
  Kek

  Would be better if the duck was doing the flipping upside down thing and its feets were above water

  2017-11-20 03:02

  0
• 
  Too early? (Rip)

  I've been a regular heroin user for about 2 years. I occasionally partake in other substances but that's my DOC.

  2017-11-20 03:00

  +5
• 
  Crime increase

  I bet you say that to all the girls

  2017-11-18 08:27

  +11
• 
  Yo

  Two of her children need to be euthanized and neither is a quadruped.

  2017-11-18 08:15

  +12
• 
  Crime increase

  Squirt squirt squirt, watchin niggas hurt

  2017-11-18 08:14

  +15
• 
  this students life does not matter

  Iowa is a terrible place.

  2017-11-16 01:07

  +2
• 
  Yep

  Scented candles are so rad though.

  2017-11-16 01:06

  +2
• 
  Black baby

  English, motherfucker! Do you speak it?

  2017-11-16 01:05

  +3
• 
  clever title

  Thanks to Taco Bell being widely regarded as a bringer of Poo-namis, I can smoke dope in peace in their restrooms.

  2017-11-16 01:04

  +2
• 
  100% save

  Last few seconds of life: grab some titties.

  2017-11-16 01:03

  +2
• 
  originall

  OP thirsts to be thirsty in Montego Bay.

  2017-11-16 01:02

  0
• 
  Doggo

  Sweet little pup-pup

  2017-11-16 01:01

  +4
• 
  Safety level is over 9000!

  Welcome to Costco. I love you.

  2017-11-16 01:00

  +6
• 
  back to the basement

  That's what you captured him to do though. Right...?

  2017-11-16 01:00

  +1
• 
  Source: Egghead by Bo Burnham

  There once was a man named Donald Trump In America's thoughts when we took a dump His morals are sleazy His face makes us queasy We hope that his balls grow a lump

  2017-09-25 17:26

  -10
• 
  kinky!

  It was easier than stabbing the guy, which was my backup plan.

  2017-08-29 02:05

  +1
• 
  dangerous

  It's called a napkin, you caveman.

  2017-08-29 00:25

  0
• 
  He's a drug dealer

  The perfect wife assists, protects and increases the business.

  2017-08-29 00:24

  +17
• 
  This highly accurate sonic action figure...

  Sanik the hedgeherp.

  2017-08-29 00:23

  0
• 
  Can't wait to do this.

  She just wants some of that EMT dick.

  2017-08-29 00:22

  +4
• 
  .

  Nope. Sorry, Billy. Time's up.

  2017-08-29 00:21

  +3
• 
  Well shit...

  I outed an undercover snitch to my heathen friends. Doing the Lord's work.

  2017-08-29 00:21

  -4
• 
  Deep sea teeth cleaning

  Minty fish fresh.

  2017-08-29 00:20

  +8
• 
  ^_^ <3

  Chippies

  2017-08-27 05:10

  +1
• 
  High 5...

  Proud of you!

  2017-08-27 05:09

  +2
• 
  A bold eagle

  Ask not what the squeezer can do for you, but what you can do for the squeezer.

  2017-08-27 05:04

  +10
• 
  Mememxjdvzd xj

  Get it together, Seattle.

  2017-08-27 05:02

  +5
• 
  Whoa

  Such sinister serendipity

  2017-08-27 05:01

  +1
• 
  ever get these in the middle of the night?

  Lift so hard, your leg's like "suh bro?"

  2017-08-27 05:00

  +20
• 
  Martin spoonther King

  And those who create them needed them before those who washed which must be needed by those intending to create them

  2017-08-27 04:59

  -4
• 
  Crak

  The nignogs need to keep their energy up in order to do nignog things.

  2017-08-16 21:32

  +3
• 
  Sounds legit...!!!

  Nobody's "over this shit" like the pioneer people of Whynot.

  2017-08-16 21:13

  +3
• 
  wait! what?

  Big booty bitches

  2017-08-16 21:12

  0
• 
  LGGBDTTTIQQAAPP

  Some shit happened and now all I ever do is evade the police and smoke dope.

  2017-08-16 21:09

  +24
• 
  Billy boy...

  My body is 60% heroin.

  2017-08-16 21:08

  -2
• 
  Hi

  Ferris Bueller, you're my hero.

  2017-08-16 21:07

  +4
• 
  time to die

  Thank you, doctor. This solves so many things.

  2017-08-16 21:04

  +4
• 
  LGGBDTTTIQQAAPP

  I'm pretty gay and still not as gay as this nonsense.

  2017-08-16 21:03

  +81
• 
  FLORIDA

  Florida: the only place you can break into someone's house stark naked, take a shit and rub one out in one fell swoop.

  2017-06-16 21:28

  +3
• 
  What the...

  Stop pissing in the ocean, Tyrone. That isn't how goldfish are born. Knob.

  2017-06-16 21:24

  +1
• 
  Damn.....

  Beware the dick curse.

  2017-06-11 18:41

  -7
• 
  Trust Fall.

  And now she's a paraplegic.

  2017-06-11 00:03

  -3
• 
  He's just tired.

  And a helmet.

  2017-06-11 00:03

  +6
• 
  dicc long

  Megalong mega dong

  2017-06-02 21:47

  +4
• 
  420% organic 666% vegan

  Dad's water is expensive as fuck.

  2017-06-01 01:10

  +7
• 
  When you play Verdun for the first time.

  Good.

  2017-06-01 01:08

  +7
• 
  Do a boop

  Crab sounds.

  2017-06-01 01:07

  +32
• 
  Dem biceps...

  I can only imagine the preposterous paragraph that will undoubtedly have something to do with breasts, whether or not they're of a chickeny nature.

  2017-05-09 22:38

  +5
• 
  Noice

  Unbeelievable.

  2017-04-27 22:06

  +8
• 
  close enough

  Shitshitshitshitshit!!

  2017-04-27 22:05

  -5
• 
  That poor man

  Sometimes you have to pretend you're borderline retarded to get laid.

  2017-04-23 18:11

  +22
• 
  Gotta Go Fast

  Holy shit! Please tell me you flipped that shit for profit.

  2017-04-23 18:10

  0
• 
  Time to become a hobo drifter

  Maybe if I was 24 hours dopesick. Maybe then I'd suck sketchy dick.

  2017-04-23 18:10

  0
• 
  T4 bacteriophage is the best bacteriophage

  That "end plate" looks suspiciously like a ballsack.

  2017-04-23 18:09

  +17
• 
  Literally every barista myself included

  Probably all of them tbh

  2017-04-22 05:36

  +10
• 
  Indian names, do not steal ... i have the original

  Someone, somewhere, is named Shittake Takeashita.

  2017-04-22 05:14

  +6
• 
  Literally every barista myself included

  All those basic white girls are gonna be the root cause of PTSD amongst baristas.

  2017-04-22 05:13

  +23
• 
  lol

  "Just relax"... "why are you anxious?"... if I knew how to do that shit I would have fixed this shit a long time ago.

  2017-04-22 05:13

  +1
• 
  Creepy diner!

  Nah, it's pretty rad actually.

  2017-04-22 05:12

  +3
• 
  get on the trump trail

  Because they haven't yet invented the diarrheaphragm.

  2017-04-22 05:10

  +3
• 
  Or when I get caught fapping

  I can already feel the spinal cord injury

  2017-04-22 05:09

  +3
• 
  I laughed way too fucking hard

  The damn thing gone wild, panda lamp

  2017-04-22 05:09

  +22
• 
  Ay

  *sniff sniff* my soul smells.... delicious...

  2017-04-22 05:08

  +1
• 
  You fat f***

  On a scale from 1 to Garfield, that cat's Shamu.

  2017-04-22 05:08

  +3
• 
  I have a dark sense of humour

  How it feels to chew 5 gum after you fucking stole it.

  2017-04-22 05:06

  +3
• 
  .

  You mess with the bird, you get the hurt

  2017-04-22 05:06

  +5
• 
  N

  I can't even imagine the blatant mental images doctors are exposed to on a daily basis. Or the onslaught of people getting weird shit lodged in their buttholes because they "fell on it"

  2017-04-22 05:05

  +6
• 
  fuck off, weebs

  Has the term "kawaii" made it to Hawaii, or is that the only place where this bullshit hasn't infiltrated its faggotry?

  2017-04-22 05:04

  +12
• 
  Gotta love dat edge

  Here is your tape, Memedroid.

  2017-04-22 05:03

  +3
• 
  Radda radda radda radda!

  Right? Also was that bunny's name "Panini" or "Bunini"... because the former just seems like a wasted opportunity.

  2017-04-22 05:02

  +2
• 
  apple sucks D:<

  Get your dumb ass a case for fuck's sake. $10-20 is a lot cheaper than $200 for a replacement, you stingy fucks.

  2017-04-22 05:01

  +2
• 
  RIP

  Ya nasteh.

  2017-04-22 05:00

  +9
• 
  .

  Beestiality

  2017-04-22 05:00

  +6
• 
  Time to become a hobo drifter

  I'm a semi professional panhandler and I actually had a drunk ass dude try to lure me AND my panhandling friend into his car, saying shit like "what would you be willing to do for money?" maybe if he was a super hot chick but ...

  2017-04-22 04:59

  +7
• 
  .

  That dude is well on his way to a Darwin Award.

  2017-04-22 04:57

  +8
• 
  Santa Problems.

  She's like "not this shit again"

  2017-03-29 03:39

  +21
• 
  Pupper is essential

  All you need are pups All you need are pups All you need are pups, pups Pups are all you need

  2017-03-25 00:42

  +3
• 
  Im always scared

  Florida Woman needs to stop tweeting asap

  2017-03-25 00:34

  +9
• 
  So close

  When your pilot is also an aspiring gardener

  2017-03-25 00:33

  +9
• 
  Wut

  Lt. Legs can come on'a my house and spin some Steely Dan records with me anytime.

  2017-03-25 00:31

  +5
• 
  Beautifully evil muahahaha

  Well... I found the perfect Christmas gift for my in-laws.

  2017-03-25 00:30

  +6
• 
  Thos are. Huge!

  Time to never go outside ever again and live out the rest of your life as a hermit.

  2017-03-25 00:29

  +31