Latest comments

• 
  Watermelon flower

  Watermelon: If I fits, I sits.

  3h

  +1
• 
  The worst police cars

  Only a bloody Dutchman...

  3h

  +4
• 
  Born to reclaim the holy land

  Those cursed Saracens!

  3h

  +4
• 
  Where's your daughter

  "I thought I was the one marrying him!"

  3h

  0
• 
  Useless? how to make your man cook all the time

  Panduril, Flamebroiler of the West

  3h

  +1
• 
  Episode IV rebel with a spear

  I always assumed the tower is retractable. You get in the basket on the ground, then the pole rises into the air when a buttonis pressed or a lever is engaged.

  3h

  +7
• 
  Bus driver throwed an emoji

  "Mahalo, cuz."

  3h

  +11
• 
  majestic bird

  Eyebrow game on fleek

  3h

  0
• 
  you know how i got these scars?

  Later that evening... "You stretched my cheeks, now prepare to get yours stretched." "You mean my face, right?" "..." "...r-right?"

  4h

  +1
• 
  girl with bike skills

  I would have immediately eaten shit the second I tried to stand up on my bikeseat, neveind any of that other cool shit.

  4h

  +7
• 
  My 5 year old

  Nor the hearts of all those orphans he dropkicked. 7

  6h

  +1
• 
  Doggo knew

  Argos, the goodest boy in Ancient Greece. (Don't @ me about Cerberus because he's in the Underworld, not Ancient Greece)

  7h

  +17
• 
  he didn't expect to get this far

  "Mom come pick me up I'm scared."

  7h

  +16
• 
  Big Talmudic Time

  Ah, you just love to see it.

  9h

  +4
• 
  My 5 year old

  I kill baby zombies for what they did to—PHILZA LOOK OUT!

  11h

  +1
• 
  bummer for you

  I'm not neurodivergent, I've just got a case of terminal stupidity that hasn't quite caught up to me because it also has the stupid.

  12h

  +5
• 
  He was ride or die from womb to tomb

  Rip in pupperonis, sweet prince.7

  12h

  +9
• 
  What's worse is that I don't even drink

  B E A F R A I D

  12h

  +3
• 
  Yaoi tattoo, this is my (maybe more than once) a week pol...

  Shinji x Kaworu is probably the least-problematic ship in NGE, honestly.

  12h

  +3
• 
  Sara - we three among many other

  Almost a full recovery with some pretty badass scars. Shoulder needed reconstructive surgery, and I'll definitely be paying for it when I'm older, though.

  13h

  +4
• 
  Sara - we three among many other

  When I was dying of bloodloss due to a car wreck, Rod Stewart's version of Amazing Grace was playimg on the somehow still functioning radio. I mustered up all my willpower to stay awake, and the EMTs showed up right at the end of the song.

  13h

  +18
• 
  Back again. (Bad meme ik po)

  Renegades for lyfe

  14h

  +3
• 
  Title

  Body language is important, too. Always need to have one arm raised threateningly, back-hand presented.

  14h

  +1
• 
  Back again. (Bad meme ik po)

  Fair enough. I propose your next profile name should be BlueParagon... or BlueRenegade, depending on your preferred alignment.

  14h

  +5
• 
  new executive order

  Mfs who need their fingers to count be like:

  14h

  +16
• 
  Title

  I've come to learn that telling someone to act happier generally has the opposite effect. It's like telling a w*man to calm down.

  14h

  +2
• 
  US: Let's audit Fort Knox. Europe: OH SHIT!

  Gotta pretend like Fort Knox wasn't emptied out ages ago when DOGE comes auditing.

  14h

  +37
• 
  I want to believe

  *X-Files theme intensifies*

  15h

  +1
• 
  Back again. (Bad meme ik po)

  Was BLUESENTINEL already taken?

  15h

  +5
• 
  No so mysterious

  Fake and gay, everyone knows that Natives smoke American Spirits.

  15h

  +5
• 
  day 1 in Canada

  My Brain: Ugly, wrinkles, think too much makes depresso OP's Brain: beautiful, smooth, no thought no problem

  16h

  +8
• 
  Kim Sae Ron RIP meme news

  Not even twenty-five, what a shame.

  16h

  +14
• 
  day 1 in Canada

  Damn, that was smooth as the ice right after a Zamboni resurfacing.

  17h

  +12
• 
  Cursed kiss

  Give her an Australian kiss.

  17h

  +5
• 
  Monday motivation for my dudes

  "Stay at home husband", goes everywhere with her. At that point just call him her assistant or something.

  17h

  +19
• 
  don't mind me i'll just dance

  He G R O O V I N '

  17h

  +7
• 
  Title

  Me, with my earthworm terrarium: I am!

  17h

  +3
• 
  Awe

  I accept your terms.

  17h

  +8
• 
  Bite my shiny leather ass

  Shut up and take my money!

  1d

  +13
• 
  Sneak 100

  The whispered "Sneak 100" was beautiful.

  1d

  +20
• 
  Porch pirates

  

  1d

  +4
• 
  Stick your peen in it

  Damn, now this takes me back.

  1d

  +6
• 
  Gotcha! Poser

  Peter, Pedro, Pietro, Pyotr

  2025-02-16 08:28

  +2
• 
  Mutants must be in Zoo

  ...what was this meme about? I've watched it like twelve times and I still can't figure it out.

  2025-02-16 08:26

  +22
• 
  Succulent Chinese meals

  "Get your hands off my penis!"

  2025-02-16 06:23

  +13
• 
  If I have the patience to assemble this, I no longer need...

  Sounds dope as hell

  2025-02-15 09:32

  +5
• 
  If I have the patience to assemble this, I no longer need...

  Clockwork manta rays?

  2025-02-15 08:49

  +6
• 
  Not happy? Go on the Spain one

  Maybe crop your meme a little better before you try imvading, you cheese eating surrender monkey.

  2025-02-14 19:45

  +8
• 
  No

  I'll never forgive the Japanese!

  2025-02-14 18:48

  +5
• 
  Definetly USS Abraham F. Obama

  Your wisdom knows no bounds.

  2025-02-14 16:29

  0
• 
  Totally real and not made up

  El bruh momento

  2025-02-14 16:19

  +11
• 
  A dinosaur of the modern world

  Apparently, shoebills are very affectionate woth their human caretakers, like they almost imprint on them even if they're not babies.

  2025-02-14 15:46

  +4
• 
  Heartfelt

  I don't usually have many problems with my coworkers, and even management is pretty chill most of the time. For this Christmas, I even crocheted all of them little dolls of their favorite movie characters. John McLane was especially fun to make.

  2025-02-14 15:40

  +7
• 
  Business women in Christmas movies

  Just as the children yearn for the mines, women likewise yearn for the kitchen.

  2025-02-14 08:50

  +6
• 
  thank you dude

  5spooky7me

  2025-02-14 07:23

  +8
• 
  Acupuncture meme

  Um, ackshually, those arrows were fired by Saruman's Uruk-Hai, who were spawned in Isengard.

  2025-02-14 06:10

  +3
• 
  Durga dance

  Hinga dinga durga?

  2025-02-14 06:04

  +18
• 
  Stupid funny joke

  Usually jokes like this involve a "priest", a "pastor", and a "rabbi", but in this case, someone made a typo (a Type-O) and involved a very self-aware "rabbit" instead.

  2025-02-14 05:59

  +26
• 
  Stupid funny joke

  This is an advanced dad joke. Game recognizes game.

  2025-02-14 05:41

  +20
• 
  ball goes first

  Child:

  2025-02-14 05:40

  +9
• 
  I love engineering

  Reinventing the wheel

  2025-02-14 05:33

  +19
• 
  enjoying every second of DOGE

  I've got a poleaxe if they need a longer reach.

  2025-02-14 05:12

  +4
• 
  old women still having a blast

  I ain't got a clue what they're saying, but I'm completely on board.

  2025-02-14 05:09

  +6
• 
  sexy pirate

  That's Peg-Leg Peg. Wait... if Meg is short for Marguerite, is Peg short for Parguerite?

  2025-02-14 05:08

  +4
• 
  Parrots are great

  Even government drones know w*men should be seen and not heard.

  2025-02-14 05:05

  +17
• 
  In case of interstellar travel

  Also, don't forget to watch out for falling sperm whales and potted petunias, and make to give thanks for all the fish.

  2025-02-14 04:37

  +10
• 
  You're not depressed

  Hm... it has been about a month now... guess I know what my next day off looks like.

  2025-02-14 04:35

  +4
• 
  a cigar?

  Be grateful.

  2025-02-14 03:17

  +3
• 
  i can't match this

  Damn it, you beat me to the punchline!

  2025-02-14 02:44

  +18
• 
  This guy is living the dream

  Aw, road trip buddies!

  2025-02-14 02:43

  +9
• 
  Well that escalated quickly

  

  2025-02-14 02:30

  +6
• 
  Always

  Was the arresting officer a lady? You might still have a chance.

  2025-02-13 23:46

  +6
• 
  Idk lol

  They were snuggled to sleep by peaceful and harmonious immigrants. (Note: certain words in the above comment have been altered from their original state for no particular reason.)

  2025-02-13 23:21

  +4
• 
  Always

  Helicopter to assert dominance over lesser males. Their partners will see their intimidated posture and flock to you instead.

  2025-02-13 23:13

  +7
• 
  Saw this in the breakroom today. Figured the boys would a...

  For those who are actually confused and not just meming, the color refers to the kernels. Most popping corn is made from white or yellow corn, but can also be from red, blue, or purple corn as well.

  2025-02-13 23:12

  +3
• 
  Always

  U L T R A G A Y

  2025-02-13 22:56

  +3
• 
  You didn't make the baby by yourself.

  The sheer S E E T H E in that last part was physically palpable through the screen.

  2025-02-13 22:32

  +20
• 
  the things you'll see in texas

  Neat.

  2025-02-13 20:41

  +4
• 
  dammit

  Damn, Arthur! All you had to do was follow the train!

  2025-02-13 20:41

  +6
• 
  Wish me better world

  Some things are beyond even a genie's phenomenal cosmic powers.

  2025-02-13 20:38

  +3
• 
  I need this power

  They don't make immortal sorcerers like they used to.

  2025-02-13 20:37

  +12
• 
  Broken

  Y tf my pp hard!?

  2025-02-13 20:36

  +10
• 
  the things you'll see in texas

  Are those slinkies?

  2025-02-13 20:18

  +6
• 
  What yall picking?

  Mend Buttcrack

  2025-02-13 18:18

  +1
• 
  I HAVE TO PUT BRO IN THE PLACE WHERE HE BELONGS

  "So, you have chosen... Death."

  2025-02-13 18:14

  +4
• 
  Maybe another Trumpism is appropriate

  I think "atmospheric river" sounds cool as hell. Much better than when we called it La Niña.

  2025-02-13 17:49

  +10
• 
  AI

  The AI that learned from my posts is really into the fantasy genre.

  2025-02-13 16:58

  +4
• 
  Stupider by the day.

  Still not nearly as bad as that one guy who ended his prayer with "Amen and awomen."

  2025-02-13 15:51

  +6
• 
  Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

  There's definitely spit in that burger.

  2025-02-13 15:50

  +13
• 
  hmms

  Mage Hand

  2025-02-13 09:03

  +3
• 
  What yall picking?

  Guess we're joining firestorm in the Pantsless Wizard Association.

  2025-02-13 08:13

  +3
• 
  Locksmith jokes

  Easy money?

  2025-02-13 07:59

  +10
• 
  DIY Basket

  ...I guess it could be a nice fruit bowl for the dining table or the kitchen counter?

  2025-02-13 07:54

  0
• 
  My crush vs me

  Three dinners? What are you a maniac? Instead have Afternoon Tea at 3, Dinner at 6, and Supper at 8.

  2025-02-13 07:05

  +3
• 
  Seal seal

  

  2025-02-13 07:03

  +4
• 
  Try to fly with redbull

  Homie in the DeLorean looks like he had a pretty rough landing.

  2025-02-13 07:01

  +18
• 
  I was on a quest

  "Then Darkness took me, and I strayed out of thought and time, and I wandered far on roads that I will not tell."

  2025-02-13 07:00

  +3
• 
  What yall picking?

  Literally the first thing I thought of. Prestidigitation is my second favorite cantrip because of its versatility. Minor Illusion is number one because it lets me play my own background music and make visual effects like sparkles.

  2025-02-13 06:57

  +7
• 
  one more Gandalf fun fact

  It seems his love of the halflings' leaf has sharpened his mind beyond all others.

  2025-02-13 06:54

  +13
• 
  Locksmith jokes

  He has learned that the key to enjoying life is humor.

  2025-02-13 06:52

  +11